THE CONJURER’S
REVENGE by Stephen Leacock
The conjurer called the attention
of the people and showed an empty cloth. He said, ‘Presto!’ He took out a bowl
of goldfish. All around the hall people wondered that how he did it. But the
Quick Man on the front seat said in a big whisper to the people that he had it
up his sleeve. Then everybody whispered round the hall that he had it up his
sleeve. Then everybody whispered round the hall that he had it up his sleeve.
The conjurer said that his next trick was the famous Hindostanee rings. He
showed that the rings were separate. At a blow they all joined. The Quick Man
whispered that he had another lot up his sleeve. Again everybody nodded and
whispered that the rings were up his sleeve.
The conjurer worried a lot but he
continued his tricks. The conjurer got a hat from the audience and he extracted
seventeen eggs in thirty five seconds. The audience began to think that he was
wonderful. Then the Quick Man whispered along the front bench that he had a hen
up his sleeve and so all the people whispered it on that he had a lot of hens
up his sleeve. The egg trick was ruined. It went on like that all through.
Whatever the tricks he did, he got the same response. It seemed that the
conjurer must have concealed his sleeve. The reputation of the conjurer was
rapidly sinking below zero.
He rallied for a final effort. He
said that he would present to them the famous Japanese trick recently invented
by the natives of Tipperary. He turned toward the Quick Man and requested him
to give his gold watch. It was passed to him. The conjurer asked the Quick Man
if he had his permission to put it into that mortar and pound it to pieces. The
Quick Man nodded and smiled. The conjurer threw the watch into the mortar and
grasped a sledge hammer from the table and smashed it. The Quick Man whispered
that he had slipped it up his sleeve. The conjurer asked him whether he would
allow him to take his handkerchief and punch holes in it. He made visible holes
in it. The real mystery of the thing fascinated the Quick Man.
Then the conjurer asked for the
Quick Man’s permission to dance on his silk hat. The conjurer passed on the hat
with his feet and crushed his it. Then he got his celluloid collar and burnt it
with his permission. Then he got his spectacles and smashed it with hammer. The
Quick Man puzzled and he whispered that he didn’t see through it a bit. The
conjurer concluded that he had broken his watch, burnt his collar, smashed his
spectacles and danced on his hat with his permission. The audience dispersed
with a acceptance that there were some tricks that were not done up the
conjurer’s sleeve.
